wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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