I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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