come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize