I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
