You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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