I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
