never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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