he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
my poor anus
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
