I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
