Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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