There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
