yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
pray to the hookup gods
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
