Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
