Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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