After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize