I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
