she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
