It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
