Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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