bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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