I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
