I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
