I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
