you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
