why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
