This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How external is "for external use only"?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize