He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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