My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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