I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
