Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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