I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
