I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
