mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
