So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
