just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
