I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
