I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He shit in the fireplace
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
