The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
