Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
