I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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