There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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