i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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