Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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