Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize