rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
