At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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