my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
