JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm passing your future prison.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
