I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
