...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize