since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
