I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i came on her dog
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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