Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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