Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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