Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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