I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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