he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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