i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
