I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
