Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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