God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
This baby is an asshole
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize