I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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