He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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