he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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